Like most of you, I have been self-quarantining since the middle of March due to the COVID-19 pandemic. When the news that my university was closing came out, I was filled with emotions: happy because I no longer had to attend Chemistry lab, scared because that meant this thing was real and dangerous, sad because I was missing out on the rest of my sophomore year, and overall anxious about my academic and personal life. I was questioning God A LOT - and I mean multiple times daily as I would encounter new found roadblocks. Fortunately, I still have three church families that have been keeping in contact with me and serving as voices of encouragement and peace- and it was during one of these meetings that I realized: this pandemic is exactly what I needed.
At first read, that sounds awful- COVID-19 continues to be the worst thing most people have ever seen, and I am fearful everyday when I go into work that I will catch it, or transmit it to someone I love. Working as a Nurse's Assistant in a Detention Center - I pass meds, take vitals, etc. - was intense before this happened, and now I'm wearing masks and getting tested for COVID (it was negative :) ) and freaking out anytime someone has a fever of 100*F because that means I can't go home. My life has been completely turned upside down in ways that I never thought possible.
For those of you that are subscribers, you've read my "2020" blog that outlines exactly what I hope to accomplish this year. 20 ideas and dreams and commands to myself to improve on or start doing. The crazy thing is, I didn't start doing ANY of it until the pandemic occurred. I am able to rest. I am able to enjoy the little moments with my family I am being intentional about my relationships. I am looking for ways to. be sustainable and eco-friendly. I am being creative and exploring new projects. I am eagerly awaiting the day I get to travel again. I am being more intentional about my time with God- and making it a priority. I am focusing on my education, regardless of how it looks right now. and the big one- I am trusting that God will make something out of this situation. I am trusting that no matter what happens during and after this pandemic, God has gone before me and is guiding my path.
I am currently going through the book of Proverbs- chapter by chapter- and focusing on the idea of "wisdom". I don't know about you, but for me, wisdom has always been somewhat of an enigma. What I am learning in Proverbs, however, is that God is wisdom. By growing closer to Him, and walking alongside Him daily, I am gaining that wisdom, but I also have to put it in to practice.I know that our world is full of fear and uncertainty- some are angry and grieving. People are afraid to leave their houses, they have lost their jobs, they have lost their loved ones. Amidst all of this tragedy and uncertainty, I encourage you - in fact, I implore you- to lean not on your own understanding. God has never & will never allow us to go through things that we cannot overcome- as long as we place our trust in Him. Allow God to guide you, allow Him to ease your fears, and allow Him to give you the answers you are seeking.