This word has become a staple in my vocabulary here recently. I too often find myself uncomfortable.I hate being uncomfortable, and I am sure most people would agree with that statement. I would much rather be in a situation or with other people that I can be myself and not have to worry about what's happening and what people are doing or saying.
Unfortunately, I also feel uncomfortable when God calls me to do something out of my comfort zone.
When I decided to go to the University of Arkansas, I was scared out of my mind. I felt like I was settling because financial issues were too big. I felt like I was putting 8-year-old Nicole's dreams at risk. I felt like this was jeopardizing my future (I know I was dramatic). After talking with my childhood mentor, I decided that God wanted me here. After being accepted, and accepting my acceptance, I began to apply for scholarships. I knew I was a competitive candidate, but I also knew that I wasn't the best applicant out there. I went through round after round, so many essays and interviews, until I got the email that I had received a full ride to the University of Arkansas. I mean a full ride, and I cried when I got that email. Not just because a huge financial burden had been lifted off my shoulders, but because I felt like God was confirming that He had me in His hands if I would just trust Him.
This last semester, I struggled with a huge failure academically.I still kept my scholarship, and it was only a failure of my personal standards. It is considered a successful semester to just about everyone else. I was balancing two majors and two minors, along with numerous extracurriculars and two jobs. I was quite a busy gal. I've spent most of this summer attempting to reorganize my life and figure out how I am going to make sure that my next six semesters are nothing like this past one.
I read an instagram post by a sorority sister of mine last week that encouraged us to trust where God was taking us even in the face of uncertainty. At the end of her post, she listed a lot of things that typically make college students nervous, but the one that kept me up that night was "change your major". I had been debating if stressing myself out was worth it, but I didn't want to let people down, and I didn't want to start over. I was uncomfortable with the idea of going back to the drawing board at the beginning of my sophomore year. I did some praying, talked with my friends, and decided that I was gonna do it. I emailed my advisor, filled out the forms, and officially dropped one of my majors. I redid my class schedule and cleared out my computer for a fresh start. Guys, the stress off my shoulders was almost instant. I felt this wave of peace and calm wash over me. One that I hadn't felt since before I started college.
Flash-forward to this morning. I am now studying Biology (BS) and Spanish (BA), and I am Pre-Med. I had a Spanish oral exam that I was absolutely terrified for. I was shaking. I stayed up all night, slept for a few hours, and then got right back up to continue studying. I have never been confident speaking a different language, and I needed a good grade on this- after all I am a new Spanish major(as of this past Saturday). I was shaking during the entire interview. It concluded and I got the dreaded email that my grade had posted. I got a 96%. Let me just say that again, because I think I'm still in a state of shock. I got a 96%. The highest grade I have ever received on a Spanish exam. I know some people will say that I studied a ton and I've worked hard and I deserve it. But I fully believe that I succeed because I decided to trust God and get uncomfortable.
I know this was longer than my usual, but this message is so, so good. Let God use you. However that presents itself in your life whether that's finding a new job, moving to a new town, changing your major, embracing your true self. Let God use you in spite of how uncomfortable it may be.